Avengers the Musical
by Splendiferous Whovian
Summary: When the Accordion is stolen by Lokey, the Avengers must unite to stop him. Will they succeed or will Lokey take over the world with his magic guitar? Hope you enjoy! Favorite and follow for more. (Don't own the cover image)
1. The Accordion

**Authors note:**

**Hi! I've never done anything like this before so please bear with me!  
Underlined words are being sung!  
**

* * *

A man, with long black hair approached in front of a music stand and knelt.

"The Accordion has awakened." The person behind the stand said. "It is on a small world. A human world. They would yield its power…"

It is indeed, the Chitauri lord known as Thanos, talking to his greatest prize, Lokey Laufeyson and a crowd of thousands of Chitauri. One of the Chitauri minions ran up to Lokey and handed him the oddest guitar you have ever seen. It was a dark gold color that turned black at the top. And the headstock was a beautiful light blue.

"But our ally knows it is working as the mortals never will." He referred to Lokey. "He is ready to lead. And our force, our Chitauri will follow." The crowd of  
Chitauri cheered. "The world will be his. The universe ours. And the humans, what can they do but burn?"

* * *

A S.H.I.E.L.D. facility by a new Mexico desert was in a state of panic. Men in dark suits jumped into cars. A helicopter flew into the station and out came the director of S.H.I. . Nick Fury. Standing a few feet from the helicopter pad is a man in a dark suit, brown hair, and super-awesome sunglasses. This man was none other than Agent Phil Coulson. Right behind Nick Fury was his right-hand-agent, Maria Hill.

"How bad is it?" Nick Fury asked.

"That's the problem sir," Coulson replied coolly. "We don't know." He led Hill and Fury through the radiation facility. Several scientist and engineers ran around getting all their sheet music.

"Doctor Selvig heard the Accordion play about four hours ago." Agent Coulson informed.

"NMS (National Music Society) didn't authorize Selvig to play it."

"He wasn't playing it; he wasn't even in the room. Spontaneous advancement." Coulson crossed his arms.

"It just played itself?" Maria Hill asked in shock.

"Has it played anymore since?" Nick Fury asked.

"Yes sir. When Selvig couldn't get it to stop we ordered a evac."

"How long to get everyone out?" The director ordered.

"Campus should be clear in an hour."

"Make it half an hour." Nick Fury walked away and Coulson did a quick fist pump. Fury always told him to do whatever he was doing faster. So Coulson made the time longer.

The trio continued their way down through the radiation facility.

"Sir," Maria said. "Evacuation may be pointless."

"Then we should tell them to go practice their instruments?" Fury sarcastically said.

"If we can't control the Accordion's music, there may not be a minimum safety distance." She crossed her arms and glared daggers at him. "We will all get  
tremendous headaches."

"I need you to make sure phase 2 orchestras are shipped out." Nick Fury ignoring her warning.

She rolled her eyes. "Sir, is that really the priority right now?"

"Until such a time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on. Clear out the instruments below. Every piece of phase 2 on a truck and gone."

"Yes sir." She somewhat growled. "You two!" Hill pointed to two agents. "With me."

The two men finally entered the room with the Accordion. Muffled music could be heard from inside the silver case it was being held in.

"Talk to me Doc." Nick Fury said.

Doctor Eric Selvig emerged from behind a large music stand, concerned. The Accordion was louder than usual.

"Director." Eric said.

"Is there anything we know for certain?"

"The Accordion is a little flat." Selvig replied in a panic.

"Is that supposed to be funny?" Nick Fury growled.

"No it's not funny at all." Selvig said. "The Accordian is not only playing she's flat."

"How soon till you make it stop?" Fury asked.

"Well I don't won't to do it right now." Selvig lifted the lid and the Chicken song blared out. "I really like this song!" He started doing to chicken dance.

"Is that the chicken song?!" From out of nowhere Hawkeye jumps beside Doctor Selvig and starts dance.

"YES!" Coulson jumped in as well.

"I love the chicken song!" Maria Hill bolted from behind the corner and joined. Even a couple of NMS musicians joined in. They flapped their elbows like birds and clapped to the rhythm. They danced until Fury shut the lid.

Fury pointed at Maria Hill "Hill, you're supposed to be up stairs." He pointed at the musicians. "You are supposed to be gathering sheet music," He pointed at Hawkeye. "And you aren't even supposed to be out here yet!" Maria, Hawkeye, and the musicians went back to what they were supposed to be doing.

"Anyway," Selvig continued. "She's a music source. If we turn off the music, she'll just play some more. If she reaches her loudest…"

"We're prepared for this, Doctor. Harnessing sound from space."

"We don't have the harness!" Selvig tried to tell him. "Our calculations are far from complete. Now she's throwing off interference music. Nothing harmful, low levels of rock music."

Nick Fury said. "Now that will give up headaches. Where's Barton? He has the ear plugs."

"The hawk?" Selvig asked. "Up in his nest as usual."

Clint Barton, AKA Hawkeye, walks down to the trio of men.

Nick Fury and Clint walk around the room in a somewhat epic manner.

"What do you think their talking about?" Selvig whispered to Coulson.

"Probably super top secret stuff." Coulson guessed. "Or about how he's never allowed to do the chicken dance as long as he lives."

"Ok so it's settled." Hawkeye whispered to the Director.

"Of course." Fury answered.

"And can't tell anybody about it."

"I won't."

"Pinky promise!" Hawkeye held out his pinky.

Nick Fury's pinky intertwined with Clint's. "Pinky promise!"

A NMS pianist said, "Doctor Selvig! The Accordion is playing louder than ever before!"

"No one's come or gone. Nobody's messed with it. And if someone has been messing with it, it's not on this end." Clint said running over to the other men.

"Wait… There's another end?!" Nick Fury shouted.

"Yeah, the Accordion is a doorway to the other end of space, right? The doors open from both sides."

Dr. Selvig taps away at the keyboard. They all thought he was doing important stuff, but in reality he was checking his Facebook notifications. Suddenly- the Accordion played so loud it shook the entire facility. Even Hill, who was on the other side, could feel it. The music continued to grow louder and louder by the second, like a little child was turning to volume up on a keyboard. It got so loud, a beam of light (much like the Banjofrost) hit the end of a platform that was wired to a CMS device. The great beam filled with music notes fired the Accordion music. The beam formed a vortex which then opens up a portal. A black hole began to form. From the portal, the blackness of space, the beautiful and mysterious strew with a billon stars appeared and a gust of blaring music fills the room, deafening them all slightly.

The Accordion's music notes forms into a cloud that reaches to the top of the facility's vacuum chamber ceiling. It's abnormally quiet. Then... Heavy breathing is heard from the platform. It must have been very heavy because they were still slightly deaf. With their instruments in hand, S.H.I.E.L.D. guards slowly approached a figure kneeling on the platform. It was none other than Lokey, with a mischievous smile on his face. He raised his head and looked around the room. His smile died as he looks into the eyes of Fury, Barton, and Selvig. Lokey stood up, holding the guitar.

"Sir, please put the guitar down." Nick Fury commanded.

Lokey glanced at the guitar and thought, "I wonder if this could make grilled cheese with this?" But then brought his attention back to the matter at hand.

He turned to Nick Fury and played a G chord. Blue light explodes from the guitar and head straight towards him. Luckily for him, Hawkeye tackled him to the  
ground. That's when the flutes came out. Some of the agents even had violins, but none of this mattered. Loki jumps from the platform and attacks the people attacking him. In a matter of seconds Lokey takes down the guards with a few chords. He stops to see who will attack next, but nobody moves. Except Barton, he tries to grab a flute, but Lokey grabbed his hand.

"You have a heart." Lokey pointed the headstock of his guitar at Hawkeye's head. Barton's eyes suddenly glowed black. Hawkeye's mind was now in Lokey's  
hands. Clint puts his flute in his case and stood strait. Loki began taking the minds of other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, humming softly to himself.

While he was walking around Nick Fury locks the Accordion in the case and tries to leave. But Lokey turns around and began to sing. "Please don't, I still need   
that."

"This doesn't have to get any messier." The director sang back

"Of course it does  
I've come too far  
I'm Lokey of Asgard  
And burdened with glorious purpose."

"Lokey?" Selvig joined in the singing. "Thor's brother?"

"We have no quarrel with your people." Nick sang.

"An ant has no quarrel with a boot."

"Do you plan to step on us?"

"I come with glad tidings of a world made free."

"Free from what?

"Freedom.  
Freedom is a great lie  
Once you accept that, in your heart…."

Lokey swerved around and put the guitar on Selvigs head. Like Hawkeye, his eyes glowed black.

"You will know peace." Lokey finished the song.

"Yeah you say peace, I kind of think you mean the other thing." The director said.

"Sir," Hawkeye said. "Director Fury is stalling. This place is about to blow to smithereens. We'll be buried alive."

"Yep." The director popped the p.

"He's right." Selvig said. "The portal is collapsing in on itself you got maybe two minutes before this goes critical.

"Well then…" Lokey looks at Barton, who shoots Fury who falls to the ground. Grabbing the case with the Accordion, Barton followed Loki out of the room with  
Selvig and the other agents following close behind. Lokey leads them to the parking lot and ordered them to gather instrument. Hill standed off the side watching in confusion.

"Look at those trucks!" Clint said pointing to a couple of vehicles. "That would look stunning with your outfit!"

"Who's that?" Agent Hill asked in even more confusion.

"He didn't tell me." Clint replied as the agents got in the truck.

She looked at the two suspiciously and turned to leave, but before she did her walkie talkie blared loudly.

"Hill, do you copy?!" Nick Fury's voice came out of the other end.

Lokey and Hawkeye's eyes darted to her.

In just one sentence Fury explained what was going on. And by 'going on' I mean that he told her Hawkeye went cray cray.

Suddenly, Hill turned to shoot, but Clint was already pointing his flute at her and starts playing. Quickly he moved into the driver's seat and dove off, even though Maria got hold of a saxophone and was blowing at them.

Fury has somehow gotten up, despite being injured, and was running. "He's got the Accordion! Track it down!" The rocks began to crumble above his head.

"Where's Coulson?" Hill asked climbing into one of the jeeps.

"I don't know, but I'm going to go find-" Nick Fury's sentence was cut short due to the fact that he just ran into Coulson who was eating a chocolate covered  
doughnut with rainbow sprinkles.

Maria followed after Barton's truck while listening to Fury yell at Coulson about not eating doughnuts while the world was in danger. Lokey stands on top of the bed of the truck and plays a F chord which flips one of the many trucks chasing them. But thankfully it was not Maria.

Fury raced out of the hallway avoiding falling pipes and rocks. The entire facility was in a full earthquake. Agent Coulson and a handful of agents, who had  
somehow gotten ahead of Fury, ran down a staircase. They dropped their sheet music, and attempted to pick it up but Coulson said, "No! Leave it!"

They ran like there was no tomorrow because there probably wasn't.

Agent hill's jeep roared out of a side of Barton's truck and pulls up alongside them on the left. She goes way ahead and pulls her break and face Barton's truck and drove in reverse. Rolling down his window, Hawkeye blows a trumpet at her.

Maria thought, 'YOLO' and shoots her windshield open and fired at him.

The epically amazing agent name Coulson jumped in a van and yelled at Fury through his walkie talkie, "You're clear, sir! You need to go!"

Fury bolted out of the facility and jumped in a helicopter. The pad collapsed and falls into a fiery inferno. But since Nick Fury is one of the main characters, he made it out alive.

Still chasing Maria, Barton pushes the pedal harder, which causes Agent Hill's jeep to wobble out and put her back behind. The Accordion's music note cloud  
shrunk into a small ball of white light then…...

BOOM!

A cloud of blue music notes consumes the entire facility and part of the desert. Fury watches from below, a rapid buildup into what may be an implosion. Several miles away, Agent Coulson's van felt a jolt and heard the music of the Accordion. The entire facility is gone.

Agent Coulson smiled to himself and pulled out another doughnut out of his pocket.

The sound wave of the Accordion caused the tunnels to cave in. A rock falls on Agent Hill's jeep, leaving her nearly trapped under a blanket of rock.

On Barton's truck, the escape the tunnel and drive into the desert landscape. But Fury is one step ahead. He's already above them shooting at their truck.

Lokey looks up at Fury in a fit of rage. He grabbed his guitar and plays a D chord. Fiery blue light flies from the headstock and catches the chopper on fire. Fury, like the boss he is, jumps out and touches down on the desert floor. The chopper fell down and exploded behind him, making him look cooler than he actually is. Fury came to his senses and pulled out his kazoo to fire at them, but they were already too far away.

Lokey smiled and stuck his tongue out at him. "LATER SUCKER!" He yelled.

Fury was just about to pop his eye patch, when Coulson's voice came out his walkie talkie.

"Director," He said taking a bite of his doughnut. "Direto Fuy, do yu cop?"

"Coulson, are you eating a doughnut?"

Coulson glanced at his doughnut. He knew what he had to do. But that would mean losing his precious doughnut. The choice was too hard to bear. He could  
either give/throw the doughnut away and have a clear conscious, or keep it and lie about it. A drop of sweat ran down his face. "Lie or tell the truth?" He thought. Then he face-palmed. How was he being so stupid. This chose was way so simple. Why was he worrying?

"No sir."

"The Accordion is with the hostile force. I have men down. Hill?"

Agent Hill climbed out of her jeep, which is sandwiched in, but thankfully she wasn't.

"A lot of men still are still under, don't know how many survivors." She huffed out of breath from the awesome car chase she just had.

"Sound the general call." Nick Fury said. "I want every living soul not working rescue looking for that brief case."

"But Sir!" Coulson said. "It's my day off!"

Nick fury huffed. "Well I'm sorry. I'll get you a treat."

"Like what?!" Coulson asked.

"I don't know, maybe a trip to Tahiti."

"Roger that." Agent Hill interrupted.

"Coulson, get back to base. This is a level seven. As of right now, we are at war."

"What do we do?" Coulson asked.

Fury stood in the desert. Thinking. He looked up at the stars. On his face is the sign of happiness. He was probably the happiest person in the world. For he just remembered he had a Digiorno stuffed crust pizza in his freezer.

* * *

**Ta-da! That's the first chapter. Hope you enjoyed! Reveiws would be greatly appreciated! :)  
**


	2. Luchkov's life decisions

**Authors note:**

**Well, here's the second chapter. Big thanks to Buckitty and Jotunheim Storm for your reviews. In case any of you you were wondering, I purposely spelled Loki's name Lokey. It is like a key, like the key of C. Just thought I'd point that out. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

"This is not how I wanted the evening to go." A man named Georgi Luchkov muttered in Russian. His tall thug friend beat up a red head spy named Natasha Romanoff who was tied to a chair.

"I know how you wanted this evening to go. Believe me, this is better." She smirked.

"I'd like to know why they sent you to carry out a carrier, a music stand and other random musical items." Luchkuv asked.

The tall thug grabbed the chair and leans it back so she is about to fall off the edge of the building.

She pressed on. "I thought musician Soholob was in charge of the export business."

"Soholob? Your reputation is quite a progression. The famous Black Widow. Nothing but a pretty face."

Natasha gasped in shock. "You think I'm pretty?!"

Luchkov ignores her comment and moves over to a table filled with instrument tools and picks up a xylophone stick. The tall thug opens her mouth.

"We do not need the Lermontov to transfer the tanks. Tell him, well…." Luchkuv began.

The tall thug's phone rang. Panic washed over his face as he picked up the phone.

"Mom, I told you not to call till eleven. Please-" He stopped mid sentence. "I think it's for you…"

He handed the phone to Luchkov.

"Hey Margret! How you doin?" Lucjkov said. "Why do you and I go get a drink tonight at-"

"This isn't Margret." Agent Coulson said from the other side of the phone.

"Oh….. Then who are-"

"You're at 114 Solenski Plaza, 3rd floor. We have an f22 exactly 8 miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up the block before you can say, 'I wish I never became a thug and wish I had became a plumber like my mom wanted me to'."

Luchkov holds the phone to her ear since she couldn't because her hands were tied behind her back and thought about his life decisions.

"We need you to come in." Coulson said.

"Are you kidding? I'm working!" She argued.

"This is super important!" He argued back.

"I'm in the middle of an interrogation and this dude is giving me everything-"

"I don't give everything." Luchkuv interrupted. Natasha glared at him.

"Look, you can't pull me out of this right now." She stated.

"Natasha, Barton's been compromised."

Natasha stopped. She had a major crush on the dude but didn't admit it. "Let me put you on hold." Natasha answered

She nodded at Luchkoc. As he came to take the phone from her, Natasha kicked him with her leg and head butted him. She stood up elegantly and stared to kick him in the face. Still tied she rolled over another thug who had been eating red velvet cake in the corner who you haven't noticed till this point. The tall thug came after her but Natasha stomped on his foot with the chair leg then knocks him out by head butting him.

During all of this commotion, Coulson is coolly waiting as if he were waiting in a Wal*mart check out line.

She then flipped over and falls down hard on the red velvet thug, and broke the chair. The tall thug stood up. Giving her momentum she ran at him drop kicking him, falls down and flipped right back up and wrapped her legs around his neck and knocks him out cold. She grabbed Luchkov, wrapped one of his legs around with a hanging chain and dropped him down the open floor, dangling. She picked up the phone with her heel.

"Where's Barton now?" Natasha asked casually strolling out of the building.

"We don't know." He answered.

"Is he alive?"

"We think so. I'll brief you on everything when you get back. But first, we need you to talk to the big man."

"Coulson, you know Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw."

"No not him. You need to get _the_ big guy." Coulson emphasized.

Natasha stopped dead in her tracks. "Bozhe moi."

* * *

A little girl ran through a crowd of people, trying to get through to a tiny shack. She runs up the steps only to be stopped by a tall woman. The little girl spotted the man she was looking for. Bruce Banner, their local doctor.

"What are you doing here?!" The woman yelled. "Get out! You don't need to be here!"

"I have to see the doctor! It's my father!" The girl yelled.

Doctor Banner walked over to the girl and tried to sooth her. "Calm down. What's wrong?"

"My father…."

Banner looked behind him seeing how the girl is staring at a few people lying down, looking very sick.

"Is he like them?"

The girl held out all the money she had. "Please."

They ran hastily to the edge of town. The little girl runs ahead. Banner spots a local government car, he turned around blocking any view of him.

They finally made it to the little girl's house. As he walks in the little girl runs through a window. Banner is left standing there looking very stupid.

"Should have got paid up front Banner." Bruce told himself.

Natasha then appeared from behind the curtains. Bruce turned around quietly.

"You know, for a man who's supposed to avoid stress you picked a awesome place to settle." She remarked.

"Avoiding stress isn't the secret." Bruce answered.

"Then what is it? Yoga?"

"You brought me to the edge of the city, smart. I uh, assume the whole place is surrounded?"

"Just you and me." Natasha answered.

"It's you and I." He corrected. "And your actress buddy, is she a spy too? Do they start that young?"

"I did."

"Who are you?"

"Natasha Romanoff." She answered.

"Are you here to kill me, Miss Romanoff?" He asked. "Because that's not gonna work out for everyone."

"No. No. Of course not. I'm here on behalf of SHIELD."

"SHIELD?" He questioned. "How did they find me?"

"We never lost you doctor. We've kept our distance, even helped some other interested parties off you sent." Natasha said.

"Why?"

"Nick Fury seems to trust you. But now I need you to come in." She said.

"What if I say no?

"I'll persuade you."

"And what if the….. other guys says no?"

"You're been more than a year without an in incident. I don't think you wanna break that streak." She said.

"I don't always get what I want."

"Doctor, we're facing a potential global catastrophe." Natasha said.

"Well, those I actively try to avoid."

"This is the Accordion." She pulled her flip phone and showed him a picture of the Accordion. "It has the-"

"Is that a flip phone?" Banner said. "With all this new tech around, I thought you'd have a little more updated phone."

She glared at him.

"Sorry." He apologized.

"It has the potential loudness to wipe out the planet."

"What does Fury want me to do?" He asked. "Play it?"

"Well, he wants you to find it. It's been taken. It emits rock music that's too week for us to trace. There's no on that knows Rock music like you do. If there was, that's where I'd be."

"Harsh." He muttered. "So Fury isn't after the singer?"

"Not that he's told me." She answered.

"And he tells you everything?"

"Talk to Fury, he needs you on this."

"He needs me in a cage?"

"Well duh no-"

"STOP LYING TO ME!" He thundered.

Natasha quickly pulled out her maracas and pointed it at him. But the Doctor simply stood up strait and smiled.

"Sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you'd do." He said. "Why don't we do this the easy way, were you don't use that, and the other guy doesn't make a mess? Okay? Natasha….."

Hesitantly Natasha lowered her maracas and spoke into her ear piece.

"Stand down. We're good here."

Several SHIELD agents game out of the shadows and into the light of the shack.

Bruce smiled. "Just you and me?"

* * *

Fury faced several large monitors, having a conference with members of the World Music Council.

"This is out of line director." The 1st man said. "You're dealing with forces you can't control."

"Have you ever been in a singing battle, councilman? In a Music face off? Did you feel on overabundance of control?"

"You're saying Altosgard has declared war on our planet." The same man asked.

"Not Altosgard." Nick Fury said. "Lokey."

"He can't be working alone. What about the other one? His brother." Another person asked.

"Our intelligence says, Thor is not a hostile. But he's worlds away, we can't depend on him to help. It's up to us." Nick Fury answers.

"Which is why you should be focusing on phase 2, it was designed for exactly-" The 1st man spoke.

"Phase 2 isn't ready, our enemy is. We need a response team."

"The Avengers initiative was shut down."

"This isn't about the Avengers."

"We're running the world's greatest convert security network and you're gonna leave to fate of the human race to a handful of music freaks."

"I'm not leaving anything to anyone. We need a response team. These people maybe in a-" He stopped and sang. "Kingdom of isolation, unbalanced-"

"Director Fury, do you think now is the time to be making _Frozen_ references?"

"It's my favorite movie!" Nick argued. "Anyway, unbalanced even, but I believe with the right push they can be exactly what we need."

"You believe?" The 2nd guy said.

"War isn't won by emotions." The 1st guy said.

"No, it's won by soldiers."

* * *

**Sorry! This is kind of a boring chapter. Again, reviews are extremely appreciated!**


	3. Twelve percent

**Authors note:**

**Thank you ErinKenobi2893 for your review. Reviews make me happy :)**

* * *

Somewhere in a old boxing gym, Steve Rogers, the first avenger, was mercilessly playing a piano. Every time he played memories flashed in his head.

"_I've got to put her in the water_."

The captain's rage built with every passing octave.

_Steve placed his compass with a image of Peggy Carter, his sweet heart. He pushed the wheel in and prepared to crash into the ocean._

He closed his eyes and played harder.

_Red skull picked up the Accordion._

With one powerful note cored, the piano split in two. After a few deep breath, the captain pushed the piano in the corner and got another one and began to play.

"Trouble sleeping?" Nick Fury strolls in.

"I've been seeping for seventy years sir. I think I've had my fill."

"Nobody ever has their fill of sleep captain." Nick Fury said.

Steve stopped playing the piano and walked over to a bench. "I went under, the world was at war, I wake up, they say we won." He said undid the tape off his hands. "They didn't say what we lost."

"We've made some mistakes along the way, some very recently."

"You here with a mission sir?"

"I am."

"Trying to get me back in the world?"

"Trying to save it." Fury handed Steve a file on the Accordion, along with other Hydra projects.

"Howard stark fished that out of the ocean while he was looking for you. He thought what we think, the Accordion could be the key to unlimited classical music. That's something this rock and roll world sorely needs."

"Who took it from you?" Steve asked.

"He's called Lokey. He's not from around here. There's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed if you're in." The Director said. "They world has gotten even stranger than you already know."

"At this point, I don't think anything would surprise me."

"You do the chicken dance in front of every SHIELD employee says you're wrong. There's a debriefing package waiting for you back at your apartment."

Steve turned and picked up the piano and walked out of the gym.

"Is there anything you can tell us about the Accordion we ought to know?" Nick called

"You should have left it in the ocean."

* * *

Out somewhere in the Atlantic ocean, Tony Stark, is cutting a radio with a small drum from his Drum suit. Once he is done, he flied out of the ocean and heads to Stark Towers.

"You're good on this end." Tony said. "The rest is up to you."

"You disconnected the transition lines?" Pepper Pots asked. "Are we off the grid?"

"Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining classical music."

"Wow." Pepper said. "So maybe our reactor takes over and it actually works?"

"I assume. Light her up!"

As Iron Man flew in, the building lighted up. A huge sign on the outside glowed vividly showing the word Stark.

"How does it look?" Pepper asked.

"Like Christmas, but with more me." Tony replied.

"Gotta go wider on public awareness campaign. You need some press. I can do some more work tomorrow. I'm working on zoning for the next billboards."

"Pepper, you're killing me. Remember? Enjoy the moment."

"Get in here and I will."

Tony arrived at his huge skyscraper and is in the process of taking off his suit through a hi-tech gauntlet of gadgets when his artificial indigence said, "Sir, Agent Coulson of SHIELD is on the line."

"I'm not in." Tony said.

"As the term on earth goes, Liar liar pants on fire." Jarvis sang

"I don't care! I don't care! I'll buy another pair!" Tony sang back. "I'm actually out."

"Sir, I'm afraid he's insisting."

"Close the line Jarvis. I got a date."

Pepper Potts stared up at the monitors of the music device.

"Levels are holding….. I think." She said.

"Of course they are I was directly involved. Which brings me to my next question: how does it feel to be a genius?"

"Well ha, I really wouldn't know now would I?"

"What do you mean?" Tony questioned. "All this came from you."

"No. All this came from that." She pokes his spinning CD in his chest.

"Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself…. 12 percent?"

"Twelve percent?" Pepper asked.

"An argument can be made for fifteen."

"Twelve percent for my baby?"

"Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things. And sorry, but the quartet mishap? That was all on you."

"Oooooh."

"My private elevator…."

"You mean OUR elevator?" Pepper said.

"Was filled with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I?"

Pepper poured her and Tony a glass of champagne. "Not gonna be that subtle."

"I'll tell you what, next building is gonna say 'Potts' on the tower.

"On the lease."

"Call you mom and ask her if we can have a sleep over."

"Really?!" Pepper squealed.

"Yeah! We can watch movies and eat popcorn. And maybe even paint our toe-"

"Sir, the telephone." Jarvis interrupted. "I'm afraid my protocols are being overwritten."

"Stark," Coulson's voice filled the room. "We need to talk."

Tony picked up his phone and looks at the screen. "You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message after the song." In a quick scuffle, Tony blared our Justin Bieber music.

"Baby, baby, baby!" Pepper covered her ears at the terrible sound.

"STARK THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Coulson yelled. "AND IT'S URGENT."

"Then leave it urgently."

At that very second, the elevator doors swung open and Coulson walked out.

"Security breach?" Tony looked at Pepper and turned the music off. "That's on you."

"Phil! Come in." Pepper said jumping up.

"Phil?" Stark said. "Uh, his first name is Agent."

"Come on in, we're celebrating."

"Which is why he can't stay." Tony argued.

"We need you to look over this." Coulson held out a file to Stark. "As soon as possible."

"I don't like being handed things."

"Well that's wonderful cause I love being handed things. Sp let's trade." She handed the glass to Coulson and took the file from him. "Here you go." She shoved the file in Tony's hands and took the glass from Coulson.

"Official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday." Tony said trying to get rid of him

"This isn't a consultation."

"Is this about the Avenger?" Pepper asked. "Which I… I know nothing about." She lied even though they both knew she knew.

"The Avenger Initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't eve qualify."

"I didn't know that either." Pepper remarked.

"Yeah apparently I'm volatile, self obsessed, don't play will with others."

"That I do know."

"This isn't about personality profiles anymore." Coulson said.

"Whatever." Tony made a 'w' with his fingers. "Miss Potts, got a minute?"

The two love birds flew over a database and plugged Tony's own files in.

"You know, I thought we were having a moment." Tony said.

"I was having twelve percent of a moment." Pepper joked, but then got serious. "This seems serious, Phil's pretty shaken."

"How did you notice? Why are you calling him Phil?" Tony asked.

"What is all this?" Pepper asked.

"This is," Tony expanded his arms and different profiles appeared in holographic form floating in the air in front of them "This." The screen showed Captain America in action, the Hulk on a rampage, and Thor fighting the destroyer. There is another on of Lokey and the Accordion, to which Stark and Pepper look on in awe.

"I'm going to take the jet to D.C. tonight." Pepper said.

"Tomorrow." Tony said.

"You're got homework." She glanced back at the screen. "A lot of homework."

"Well what if I didn't?" Tony said.

"If you didn't?"

"Yeah."

"You mean if you finish?"

Tony nodded his head. She leaned forward and whispered something in his ear. Tony gasped really loud. Coulson looked away, somewhat embarrassed.

"Square deal." Tony said. "It's the last date."

"Pepper leaned forward and kissed him, which made Coulson even more uncomfortable.

"Work hard." She said. As Pepper left with Agent Coulson, Tony grabbed the Accordion holograph from, worried.

* * *

**Got any questions? Thoughts? Observations? Please review and tell me! :)**


	4. Coulson, the fanboy

**Authors note:**

**You people who keep coming back and reading this awful writing are awesome. You make me happy!**

* * *

Agent Coulson looked over his shoulder nervously. Captain America was sitting right behind him watching the Hulk's attack on a tablet.

"We're about forty minutes from base sir." The pilot said.

_Now's your chance._ Coulson thought. _Just go over there and ask him._ He took a few deep breaths, made sure he had his collectible cards, and stood up.

"So, this Doctor Banner was trying to replicate the serum that was used on me?" Steve asked.

"A lot of people were." Coulson replied trying to keep from fanboying in front of the person he fanboyed about. "You were the world's first superhero. Banner thought rock and roll might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula." The two men looked at the Hulk throw a jeep.

"Didn't really go his way did it?" Steve joked.

"Not so much." Coulson said getting really nervous. "When he's not that thing though, he's like a Stephen Hawking."

Steve looked at him confused.

"He's smart." Coulson clarified nearly about to pass out from embarrassment. "I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially." Steve smiled at him.

Coulson nearly fainted. _Ok, it's time. You can do this!_ He took a deep breath and sang. "Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy-'' He forgot what he was going to say. "But I watched you while you were sleeping…." He said slowly. Coulson mentally killed himself. "I mean," He sputtered. "I was…. Present while you were unconscious, you know, from the ice. You know, it's really it's just a…. A huge honor to have you on board."

"Well, I hope I'm the man for the job." Steve replied ignored his awkwardness.

"Oh you are. Absolutely." Coulson clarified, "Uh… We've made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input."

"The uniform? Aren't stars and stripes a little… old fashioned?

"With everything that's happening, the things that are about to come to the light, people might just need a little old fashioned."

* * *

Somewhere in a underground lab, Lokey's mind-controlled musician were preparing whatever Lokey had planned. He sat down and watched them run around, Until…..

Lokey's guitar materialized him back to the throne room with Thanos who is eating a slice of pizza.

"The Chitauri are bored." He said.

"Let them at each other." Lokey said. "I will lead them into a glorious music faceoff."

"Faceoff?" He swallowed the last bite of his pizza. "Against earth? HA!"

"Glorious, not lengthy." Lokey said. "If your force is as awesome as you claim."

"You question us?" Thanos asked. "You question ME? I, the one who put the guitar in your hand, who gave you ancient knowledge of major and minors and new sheet music when you were cast out, defeated?"

"I was king!" Lokey roared. "I was the rightful king of Altosgard!"

"This has nothing to do with Altosgard." Thanos said. "We look beyond earth to greater worlds the Accordion will unveil."

"You don't have the Accordion yet." Lokey spat. One of Thanos' minions ran forward to attach him for being such a smarty-pants, but Lokey pointed his guitar at him. "I don't threaten, but until I open the doors, until your force is mine to command, you are but words." He said to the minion.

"You'll get your music faceoff, Atlosgardian. If you fail, if the Accordion is kept from us there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where I can't find you. You think you know pin? I'll make you long for something as sweet as pain."

"Dude," Lokey said before he got transported back. "That don't make since."

"Well." He sputtered. "It will when the time comes."

"No, I don't think it will." With that cleaver remark, Lokey was gone.

* * *

The quinjet Captain America and Coulson were in landed down on a massive battle ship called the Helicarrier. The two men walk down a ram, meeting up with Natasha. Coulson wringed his hands together, still very flustered and nervous. He just completely humiliated himself in front of CAPTAIN AMERICA! _Can I possible do anything more stupid?_ He thought.

He motioned to Steve. "Agent Romanoff." He motioned to Natasha. "Captain Ro-" He stopped. "I mean- a- actually you aren't her, I just mean-" Coulson stopped and ran away crying.

"YOU'RE UP FOR FACE TIME!" Natasha called after him.

"Hey." Steve said

"Hi." Natasha said. "There was quite the buzz around here, finding you in the ice. I thought Coulson was gonna swoon. Did he ask you to sign his Captain America trading cards yet?"

"Trading cards?" He asked.

"They're vintage, he's very proud." She replied not noticing Banner who was just wandering around. "Coulson will be fine. He's just waited to meat you for a long time."

However Steve does notice Bruce and walks up to him. "Dr. Banner." He said holding out his hand.

"Oh, hi." Bruce said shaking his hand. "They told me you'd be coming."

"Word is you can find the Accordion." Steve said.

"Is that the only word on me?"

"Only word I care about.

"Must be strange for you, all of this." Bruce said.

"Well, this is actually kind of familiar."

"Gentlemen," Natasha said. "You may wanna step inside. It's about to get hard to breath."

Suddenly, the Helicarrier started shaking as it prepared to fly.

"Is this a submarine?" Steve asked.

"Really?" Bruce said. "They wanted me in a submerged pressurized metal container?"

They both moved closer to the edge of the Helicarrier. Four huge fans mounted on the side stared to lift it into the air. Steve watched in awe as Bruce smiled.

The trio of heroes went in the Helicarrier. Dozens of SHIELD agents ran around, fulfilling the orders of Nick Fury.

"We're at lock, sir." Maria hill said.

"Good." Nick said. "Let's vanish."

Outside the Helicarrier is engulfed in reflecting mirrors, completely camouflaged in the sky.

"Gentlemen." Nick Fury said once they entered. Steve looked around, and began doing to chicken dance, referring to their earlier bet.

"Doctor, thank you for coming." Nick said holding out his hand. Bruce looks at his hand, then back at him.

"Thanks for asking nicely." He said shaking his hand. "So, uh, how long am I staying?"

"Once we get our hands on the Accordion, you're in the clear."

"Where are you with that?" Banner asked.

"We're sweeping every wireless camera accessible on the planet. Laptops, cell phones. If it's connected to use a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us."

"But that's gonna take forever!" Natasha groaned.

"It's better than nothing." Banner said. "How many spectrometers do you have to access to?"

"How many are there?"

"Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for rock rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?"

"Agent Romanoff, would you show Dr. Banner to his laboratory please."

"You're gonna love it, doc." She said leading him down the hall. "We got all the toys."


	5. I said kneel!

**Authors note:**

**Sorry! It's been while since I updated! Thank you _Guest_ for your review. I'm still new at all of this, so advise is appreciated!**

**Underlined words are being sung! **

* * *

"Put it over there!" Selvig ordered. "Where'd you find all these people?" He said to Barton who just strolled in holding a tablet.

"SHIELD has no shortage of enemies, doctor. Is this the stuff you need?" Clint showed him a picture of a rock.

"Yep." He said popping the p. "Rosin. It's found in meteorites, it forms anti protons. It's very hard to get hold of."

"Especially if SHIELD knows you need it." Clint said.

"Well, I didn't know!" Selvig said, then noticed Lokey was in the room. "Hey. The Accordion is showing me so much. It's more than just chords, it's…. minors."

"I know." Lokey replied coolly. "What did it show you, Agent Barton?"

"Me next music faceoff."

"Tell me what you need." Lokey said.

"I'll need a distraction." He reached over and grabbed his bow. "And a guitar pick."

* * *

As they are waiting to locate Lokey, Coulson and Steve stood side by side, waiting.

"I mean, if it's not too much trouble." Coulson said.

"No, no." Steve replied. "It's fine."

"It's a vintage set." Coulson said excitedly. "It took me a couple of years to collect them all. Near mint, slight foxing around the edges but-"

"We've got a hit." One of the agents said. "Sixty-seven prevent match. Weight, cross match, seventy-nine percent."

"Location?" Coulson asked.

"Stuttgart, Germany. 28, Konigstrasse. He's not exactly hiding."

"Captain, you're up." Nick Fury ordered.

With a nod of his head, Captain America left.

* * *

Lokey stood in front of a glorious music store, dressed in a 21st century attire with his guitar, in a guitar case. He walked into the lavished store with a beautiful orchestra playing softly in the background. He majestically descended down the stairs where a professional guitar player stood. As Lokey made his way toward the stage he took his guitar out of the case. One of the guards noticed him and went to complement him about his guitar. But being the guy he is, Lokey tok othis as a threat and knocked him out cold.

CHAOS ERUPTED! People are running, screaming, and shouting everywhere!

Lokey grabbed the guitar player and flipped him over into a table. Then he leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "Hey, can I borrow a pick?"

"Uh, yeah sure." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue pick. "I think this one would look best with your guitar."

"Yeah it would." Lokey said. "Gee, thanks a lot man. You're a life saver." He helped the guitarist up.

"Oh you're welcome!" He said brushing his suit off. "I never leave home without a pick."

"Yeah, that's a good plan." Lokey replied.

"Just next time, you don't have to flip me on a table."

"Noted." Lokey said. "Now run for your life!"

The Guitarist nodded, then ran away screaming. As all the people are running, Lokey slowly walked out and materialized in his gold armor and helmet. Police cars zoom up the street. With a hit of hesitation, Lokey flipped the car over with a F chord.

"Kneel before me." Lokey said.

The crowd ignored him and continued running.

"I never thought humans important." Lokey said. "They're crude and unspeakably plain." He raised his hand and other Lokeys appeared, blocking the people's escape plane. "But they may have a glimmer of potential, if allied with my vision and brain."

Then Lokey began to sing a song we know as 'Be Prepared'.

"I know that you're powers of retention  
Are as wet as a jotunn's back side.  
But as thick as you are pay attention!  
My words are a matter of pride.

Is this not much more simpler?  
Is this not your natural state?  
It's the unspoken truth of humanity,  
That you crave subjugation so great.

So kneel because I said too  
I said kneel, you pathetic mortal.  
You where always made to be ruled-"

"And where do we feature?" A person from the crowd sang.

"Just listen to teacher.  
I know it sound sorted but I'll be rewarded  
When at last I am given by throne.  
in the end you will always kneel  
I said kneel!"

"Yeah! We'll knee!" Someone from the crowd shouted. "We'll kneel. Why are we kneeling?"

"Cause your king is here." Lokey said.

"Am I the king?"

"No fool, I'm the king." He said with a eye roll. "And you'll be my minions."

"Great idea! We'll be royalty! Royals! Royals! La la la la la la!

"Idiots! You will be my slaves!"

"But you just said-"

"I will by the only royal person! Kneel to me and you'll have purpose!"

"YAY!" The Lokey clones shouted. "Long live the king! Long live the king!  
It's great that we'll soon be connected  
With a king who'll be all time adored."

Of course the bright lure of freedom  
Diminishes all your life's joy  
in a mad scramble for identity  
and for power, I' m the main addressee  
Without me you won't have amenity  
You won't get along without me!

I said kneel for the coup of the century  
I said knee for the murkiest scam!  
Meticulous planning tenacity spanning  
Decades of denial is simply why I'll  
Be king undisputed respected saluted  
And seen for the wonder I am

Yes, my guitar and ambitions are bear,  
I said kneel  
Yes my guitar and ambitions are bear,  
I said kneel."

As the song ended, a elderly man stood up. "Not to men like you."

"There are no men like me."

"There are always men like you."

"Look at you elder people. Let him be an example."

Just as Lokey strung a B chord to kill him Captain America arrived! He dove just in time and blocked the blast with his shield. The light ricocheted and knocked Lokey down.

"You know," Captain America said walking towards Lokey. "The last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everyone else, we ended up disagreeing."

Lokey stood up. "The soldier. A man out of time."

"I'm not the one who's out of time." From above him, a quinjet arrived. A machine gun pointed towards Lokey.

"Lokey, drop the weapon and stand down." Natasha, who was flying the quinjet, ordered.

As quick as a blink, Lokey sent a blast of blue light at her. Natasha maneuvered the jet just in time, giving Cap the time to throw his shield at Lokey. They both begin to fight like two year old fighting over a toy, except it's way more epic. Lokey flung Cap on the ground, who threw his mighty shield. But Lokey swatted it away like a fly. Cap, using all the moves of a boxer, got knocked down by Lokey. Standing over him, he pointed the scepter's tip on his helmet.

Kneel." He said.

"Not today!" Cap fliped and knocked him out with his leg. Lokey grabbed him and flipped him over.

"The guy's all over the place." Natasha was just about to shoot when a voice echoed through the jet.

"Agent Romanoff, did you miss me?"

Captain America and Lokey look to the sky.

"IT'S A BIRD!" Lokey shouted.

"IT'S A PLANE!" Cap shouted.

"IT'S IRON MAN!" They shouted together.

Iron Man shot Lokey back and touched down and pulled out every piece of weaponry he has.

"Make your move Reindeer Games." He said.

Lokey held his hands up and his armor materialized away.

"Good move." Iron Man said.

"Mr. stark. " Cap greeted.

"Captain." Iron Man replied.

* * *

**I know the speech in the song is mixed up and changed a bit, but it was literally impossible to write it in order and get it to rhyme. Thanks for reading and I would love to hear what you think about it in a review.**

**If you're looking for more funny/serious Avengers stories to read, go cheek out my big sisters page. Her pen name is Joki of Sassgard. She's a way better writer than me, so go read her stuff!**

**P.s. Did you get my Doctor Who reference?**


	6. No more trees to destroy

**Authors note:**

**I'm back! DID YOU MISS ME?! Sorry it took forever to write this. I hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

Inside the Quinjet, Natasha Romanoff watched the dark sky which was filled with the sound of thunder and lightning.

"Said anything yet?" Fury asked over her headset.

"Not a peep." Natasha answered.

"Jet get him over here. We're low on time." Fury growled.

Tony and Steve watched Lokey from a distance. He was tied up and hand cuffed to his seat.

"I don't like it." Steve whispered quietly to Tony.

"What?" Tony asked. "Rock of Ages giving up so easily?"

"I don't remember it being ever that easy." He answered. "This guy packs a wallop."

"Still, you are pretty spry aren't ya? What's you thing? Pilates?"

"What?"

"It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple of things, you know, doing times as a Capsicle."

"Fury didn't tell me you were coming in." Steve said ignoring his remark and the new nickname.

"Yeah, there are a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you. Like where he keeps his hidden stash of Digiorno pizzas and-"

Lightning hit the jet and shook it violently.

"Where is this coming from?" Natasha asked.

As thunder rumbled over head, Lokey stared out of the window intently.

"Duh," Tony remarked. "Out of the sky."

"What's the matter?" Steve asked noticing Lokey anxiety. "Scared of a little lightning?"

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." Lokey replied coolly.

Outside the Jet, a blinding light hit the jet! Thor, prince of Altosgard, flew in, grabbed Lokey by his throat, and flew back out leaving Tony and Steve dumbstruck.

Tony grabbed his Iron Man drum sticks. "Now there's that guy." He said.

"Another Altosgardian?" Natasha asked.

"Think the guy's friendly?" Captain America asked.

"Doesn't matter." Iron Man said. "If he frees Lokey of kills him, the Accordion is lost." He turned and got ready to chase after Thor.

"Stark, we need a plan of attack!" Captain America called.

"And I have one. It's called 'Attack'." With that somewhat cleaver remark, he jumped out of the plane. Captain America grabbed a parachute to follow.

"I'd sit this out, Cap." Natasha said.

"I don't see how I can."

"These guys come from legends, they're basically gods."

"There only one God, ma'am. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that." He jumped out of the jet.

* * *

Somewhere out in the European mountains, Thor threw Lokey into the ground. He raised his might cymbals, Mjol and Nir.

"Where is the Accordion?!" He shouted.

Lokey laughed. "I missed you too."

"Do I look to be in the gaming mood?!"

"Oh, you should thank me. With the Banjofrost gone how much dark energy did the Allfather have to muster to conjure you here? To your precious Earth?"

Thor dropped Mjol and Nir, causing the mountain to quake. He picked Lokey up. Although he's super made he is family. Sort of.

"I thought you dead."

"Did you mourn?" Lokey asked.

"We all did." Thor replied. "Our father-"

"Your father." Lokey said sharply. "He did tell you my true parentage, did he not?"

Thor let Lokey go, who walked away from Thor. "We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?"

Lokey turned around and faced Thor. "I remember a shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss. I was and should be king!"

"So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights. No, the Earth is under my protection Lokey."

Lokey laughed. "And you're doing a marvelous job with that." He said sassily. "The humans slaughter each other in droves, while you idly threat. I mean to rule them. And why should I not?"

"You think yourself above them?"

"Well, duh. I'm the god of mischief and lies."

"Then you miss the truth of ruling, brother. Throne would suit you ill."

"I have seen worlds you have never known about!" Lokey shouted shoving his face brother aside. "I have grown, Odenson, in my exile! I have see the true power of the Accordion, and when I wield it-"

"Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be-king?"

"I am a king!"

"Not here! You give up the Accordion! Giver up this poisonous dream! Come home."

Lokey looked into the face of his brother. "I don't have it. You need to cube to bring me home, but I've sent it off I know not where."

Mjol and Nir flew to Thor's hand. "You listen well, brother I-"

Thor got knocked off the mountain by Iron Man who tackled him in mid-flight.

"I'm listening." Lokey said.

Thor and Iron Man crashed into the forest. Thor quickly jumped up. Iron Man is already standing and has his hood open.

"Don't touch me again." Thor said.

"Then don't take my stuff."

"You have no idea what you're dealing with."

Tony finally got a good look at his outfit. "Shakespeare in the park? Doth mother know you wearth her drapes?" He said waking his hands for good affect.

"This is beyond you, metal man. Lokey will face Altosgard justice!"

"He gives up the cube, he's all yours. Until then, stay out of my way… Tourist." His helmet clapped shut and he walked away.

In one quick move, Thor clapped Mjol and Nir together which knocked Iron Man into a tree.

"Okay." Iron Man said.

From the mountain side he was left on, Lokey watched in amusement. Thor raised his cymbals in the air and slapped them together. Iron Man stood up and sent a blast of energy and knocked Thor down. Iron man flew back up and knocked Thor into a tree. Thor, kneeling down on the ground pulled his cymbals to his hands and raised them in the air. Thunder and lightning gather in the sky. Thor clapped his cymbals at Iron Man once more and lightning bolts came pouring down on him.

"Power at 400% capacity." Jarvis said.

"How about that?" Iron Man pushed Thor to his knees. Like two gunslingers ready to draw, both of the super heroes flew towards each other and meet in the middle and ascended up. Iron man grasped Thor, elbowing him and smashed him into the side of the mountain. Thor leaped off the mountain and took Iron Man with him.

They crash right smack down, wreaking every tree in sight. Iron Man yanked Thor up. But Thor grabbed both hand boosters and began crushing them. Iron man quickly charged up as much energy as he could and shot it in Thor's face.

"THY FACE IS NOT WORTH SUNBURNING! Shakespeare, Henry the 5th, scene two, page six." Tony shouted.

Thor fell back and Iron man head butted him with his awesome helmet. But Thor head butted him which made Iron Man fly across the forest. Iron Man stood up and flew back at Thor, grabbing him by the arm and a cape and swung him into some more trees that were fortunate enough to survive until this point. Thor looked up ready to fight some more. Thor ran with all his patience out of the window. Iron Man swung and missed, giving Thor the momentum to grab him, lift him in the air and throw him on the ground. Thor summoned Mjol and Nir back to his hands. Just as he's about to out the hammer down on his head, Iron Man used his hand boosters to skidded across the ground and trip Thor over. Standing up, Thor looked for him but from behind him, Iron Man crashed into his back. Thor stood facing Iron Man, ready to-

Captain America's shield ricocheted off of Thor's face to Iron Man's face back to Captain America who was standing on a broken tree.

"Hey! That's enough!" He said hopping down from the tree. "No I don't know what you plan on doing here besides un-planting trees."

"I've come here to put an end to Lokey's schemes." Thor shouted.

"Then prove it! Put the hammer down."

Iron Man face palmed. "Um, yeah, no. Bad call. He loves his hammer."

Thor raised his hammer. "You want me to put to hammer down?" Thor leapt into the air. Captain America crouched down and held up his Shield. Thor smashed his hammer on the shield and a massive implosion of light reacted to the vibranium shield creating a massive shockwave that blew up everything within a mile.

Iron Man stood up and looked around. "Crud Muffins." He thought. The two other heroes stand up.

"Are we done here?" Captain America asked.

"Yeah," Iron Man said. "Because there aren't any more trees to wreak."

* * *

**I know this chapter isn't very funny, and for that I apologize. Please leave me a review and tell me what you think of my story!**


	7. Science Bros

**Author's note:**

**Hey everybody! Sorry it's late. I've been getting over a cold :P Thank you ****ErinKenobi2893 for your review! I have to pull up the script when I write so it gets confusing. **

* * *

Dozens of SHIELD agents escorted Lokey, who's handcuffed, down a hall. They passed Banner's lab, and Lokey gave him one of his 'I'm going to use you' smiles. They arrive in his giant glass cell and un-cuff him.

"In case it's unclear." Nick Fury said entering the room. "You try to escape, if you so much as scratch that glass." Fury pressed a button which opened up a hatch underneath Lokey's cell.

"Thirty thousand feet, straight down in steel trap." Fury said smugly. "You get how that works?" He closed the hatch and pointed at Lokey. "Ant." He motioned to the cage. "Boot."

Lokey smirked. "It's an impressive cage. Not built for me."

"Built for something a lot more musical than you."

"Oh, I've heard."

Fury stared at Lokey. "Heard what? The sound of music?"

"No dummy." He looked at the monitor. "That mindless beast. How desperate are you to call upon such mindless creature to defend you?

"How desperate am I? You threatened my _Say Yes to the Dress_ marathon, my stuffed crust pizza night, you steal the Accordion that plays my Agent's favorite song, and you've been taking guitar picks away from elderly guitar players. You've made me very desperate. You might be glad that you did."

"Ooh." Said Lokey. "It burns you to come so close. To have the Accordion, to have music, unlimited notes. And for what? A warm opera for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is."

Nick fury smiled. "Well you let me know if you want a magazine or something." Fury walked away leaving Lokey in his glass cell.

Suddenly, his eyes widen as if he forgot to turn the curling iron on. "Wait!" He screamed. "I have to pee."

* * *

Steve watched the monitor go black and sat back in his chair. There is silence.

Finally it is broken by Banner. "He really grows on you doesn't he?"

"Lokey's going to drag this out. So, Thor, what's his play?"

"He has an army called the Chitauri." Thor answered. "They're not of Altosgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth for the Accordion in return."

"An army from outer space?" Steve asked surprised.

"He's building another portal. That's why he needs Erik Selvig."

"Selvig?" Thor questioned

"He's an astrophysicist."

"Lokey has him under some kind of spell," Natasha said. "Along with one of ours."

"I wanna know why Lokey let us take him. He's not leading an army from here." Steve said.

"I don't think we should be focusing on Lokey. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell the cat hair on him."

"No cats are permitted in Asgard," Thor spoke. "They are not permitted because of their plan for world domination. Therefore he has no cats."

"He killed eighty people in two days." Black Widow said.

"He's adopted." Thor answered.

"Rosin, what did they need the Rosin for?"

"It's a stabilizing agent." Tony said walking in with Agent Coulson. "Also, it means the portal can open as wide and stay open as long as Lokey wants." He then turned his attention to the crew. "That man is playing GALAGA! Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did." Tony turned to the monitors. "How does Fury do this?"

"He turns."

Tony looked around the monitor and placed a button sized hacking implant under the desk without anyone noticing. "Well that sounds exhausting. The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on easily. Only major concern he still needs is a music source. A high musical density, something to kick start the Accordion."

"When did you become an expert in Thermonuclear astrophysics?"

"Last night. The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?"

"Does Lokey need any particular kind of Power source?" Steve asked.

"He's got to play the Accordion to a hundred twenty million Kelvin just to break through the barrier." Banner replied.

"Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect." Tony added

"Will if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet." Banner said.

"Finally someone who speaks English." Tony said. He walked over to him and shook his hand. They were officially science bros. "It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. You're work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge ran of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green monster."

Banner looked down. "Thanks."

"Dr. Banner is only here to track the Accordion. I was hoping you might join him." Agent Hill informed.

"Let's start with that guitar of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra instrument." Steve said.

Nick Fury strutted in the room. "I don't know about that but it is powered by the Accordion. And I'd like to know how Lokey used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys."

"Monkeys? I do not understand." Thor said.

"I DO!" Steve jumped from his chair. "I understood that reference." He sat back in his chair very proud of himself while Tony stood in the background wishing he would just shut up.

"Shall we play doctor?" Tony asked.

"Let's play some." The two science bros linked arms and skipped off to the lab.

* * *

Banner continuously caned with a Rock and Roll ray detection scanner on the guitar for radiation. Tony looked at his monitors, shifting and solving as many equations as possible.

"The tock readings are defiantly consistent with Selvig's reports on the Accordion. But it's gonna take weeks to process.

"If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops."

"All I packed was a toothbrush." Banner said in dismay.

"No toothpaste?" Tony smiled. "You know, you should come by Stark Towers sometime. Top then floors, all R&amp;D. You'd love it, its candy land."

"Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke…. Harlem."

"Well, I promise a stress free environment. No tension, no surprises…." Tony casually walked behind him and poked him with a miniature electrical thingy.

"Ow!" Banner shouted as Steve walked in.

"Nothing?" Tony asked.

"Hey!" Steve said to Banner. "Are you nuts?!"

"No. My name is Bruce."

"Hello Bruce." Tony said doing his best to sound like the sharks from Finding Nemo. He then turned his attention to the tight Captain "You really have got a lid on it, don't cha? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums?"

"Is everything a joke to you?" Steve argued

"Funny things are." He replied coolly.

"Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny. No offense, doctor."

"No, it's alright. I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things." Banner said.

"You're tiptoeing, big man. You need to strut." Tony informed.

"And you need to focus on the problem Mr. Stark."

"You think I'm not? Why did Fury call us and why now? Who not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variable."

"You think Fury's hiding something?" The captain grouched.

Tony sighed in frustration. This man just did not understand. "Yes! Captain, he's _the _spy. If he wasn't _the _spy I'd have his stash of pizzas by now. His pizzas have secrets." He pointed to Bruce. "He wants the pizza too."

"Uh…. I just want to finish my work here and…. A warm light for all mankind, Lokey's jab at Fury about the Accordion.

"I heard it." Steve said.

Banner pointed to Tony. "Well I think it was meant for you. Even if Barton didn't post that all over the news."

"The Stark Towner?" Steve asked. "That big ugly…" Steve slowed to a stop as he realized Tony was still in the room. "….Building in New York?"

"It's powered by Stark CDs, self sustaining music source. That building will run itself for what, a year?" Bruce asked.

"Ok listen here Spangles. Thou speek'st false. Macbeth: Act 5, scene 5, page three." Tony spat his name like it tasted bad. "It is _NOT _ugly! Okay! Do you know how long it took me to design it? One day. One WHOLE day of my life. One whole day I will never get back! And just go straight out and say it's ugly. Well I will tell you something, you can take those words and shove them in your pothole!" He angrily crossed his arms and poked his lower lip out while Steve wondered about the man's sanity.

"Anyway!" Tony said suddenly perking up. "It's just a prototype. I'm kind of the only name in clean music right now."

"So why didn't SHIELD bring him on the Accordion project? I mean, what are they doing in the clean music business in the first place?" Banner questioned.

"I should probably look into that once my decryption programmer finishes breaking into all of SHIELD'S secure files." Tony added casually.

Bruce stared at him while Steve came to the conclusion that this man had no sanity. "What?" Steve said.

"Jarvis has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours we'll know ever dirty, clean, shiney, dark, bright, purple, orange, smooth, and chocolate covered secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide." He held a pack of blueberries out to him. "Blueberry?"

"Yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around?"

"An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not possible."

"I think Lokey's trying to wind us up. This is a man who means to start a war and if we don't stay focused he'll succeed. We have orders, we should follow them." Steve was getting at the end of his rope.

"Following is not really my style."

"And you're all about style." Steve smiled.

"Of the people in this room, which one is: A. Wearing a spangle outfit, and B. Not of use?"

"Is it… A?" Banner asked.

"It was ritorical." Tony answered.

"Just find the cube." Steve stormed out of the room.

"That's the guy my dad never shut up about? I wonder if they should have kept him on ice."

"The guy's not wrong about Lokey. He does have the jump on us."

"What he's got is an ACME dynamite kit." Tony remarked. "It's gonna blow up in his face, and I'm going to be there when it does."

"And I'll read all about it." Banner said.

"Uh-huh. Or you'll be suiting up like the rest of us."

"Ah see. I don't get a suit of armor. I'm exposed like a nerve. It's a nightmare."

"You know, I've got a cluster of shrapnel, trying ever second to crawl its way into my heart." He pointed to the CD. "This stops it. This little CD. It's part of me now, not just armor. It's a….. terrible privilege."

"But you can control it." Banner said.

"Because I learned how."

"It's different." He tried to read the computer screen, but Tony slid the data aside with his finger so the two science bros can express themselves.

"Hey I've read all about your accident. That much rock music should have killed you."

"So you're saying the Hulk…. The other guy… saved my life? That's nice. It's a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?"

"I guess we'll find out." Tony said getting back to work.

"You might not like that." Banner said.

"You just might."

* * *

**Guys, I need your help. I'm writing some Doctor Who fanfic and I need some good plots. Like a episode. I have two ideas and I need five-ish. If you have any suggestions please please please tell me! If I decide to use them I will give you credit. If this doesn't make any sense, tell me in a review and I will clarify. :)**


	8. Bilchsteims and Pac Man

**Authors note:**

**I'M BACK! Sorry it took me so long to write. Maybe now that I'm done with school I can update more  
**

* * *

Steve slid a heavy iron door and walked in a not-so-secure storage room filled with metal crates. He looked up and saw another level. He leapt up and held on to the catwalk railing. He pressed on.

Meanwhile, Thor is looking on shield monitor at his pretty girlfriend, Jane Foster. Coulson stood uncomfortably by him.

"As soon as Lokey took the doctor we moved Jane Foster." Coulson broke the silence. "We've got an excellent observatory in Traunsee. She was asked to consul there very suddenly yesterday. Handsome music notes, privet bongo drums, very remote. She'll be safe."

"Thank you." Thor replied. "It's no accident Lokey taking Erik Selvig. I dread what he plans for him once he's done. Erik is a good man."

"He talks about you a lot. You changed his life. You changed everything around here, including people's insurance bills."

"They were better as they were-"

"Yeah, they saved a lot more money." Coulson nodded absent mindedly.

"We pretend on Asgard that we're more advanced." Thor continued. "But we come here battling like Bilchsteim."

"Like what?"

"Bilchstiem? You know huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?"

"Don't thinks so." Phil replied.

"They are repulsive. And they trample everything in their path." Thor walked over to the window and thought of what was to come. "When I first came to earth, Lokey's rage followed me here and your people paid the price to Jake, from State Farm. Now they will have to pay again. In my youth I courted war."

"War hasn't started yet." Nick Fury walked in. "You think you can make Lokey tell us what the Accordion is?"

"I do not know." Thor explained. "Lokey's mind is far afield, it's not just power he craves, it's vengeance upon me. There's not pain that would prize his need from him."

"A lot of guys think that, until the pain stops."

"What are you asking me to do?"

"I'm asking what are you prepared to do?"

"Lokey is a prisoner."

"Then why do I feel like he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here."

Thor didn't answer cause he didn't know.

* * *

Lokey paced back and forth inside his glass cell bored out of his mind. Suddenly, he stopped. "There are not many people that can sneak up on me." He turned and faced Natasha.

"But you figured I'd come." She said in her usually cool and easy voice.

"After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend as a balm. And I would cooperate."

"I want to know what you've done to Agent Barton."

"I'd say I've expanded his mind." He said.

"And once you've won, once your king of the mountain, what happens to his mind?"

"Is this love, Agent Romanoff?"

"Love is for children. I owe him a debt." She responded.

Lokey smiled. "Yep," He concluded just to himself. "She has a crush on him." He sat down. "Tell me."

Natasha pulled up a chair as well. "Before I worked for SHIELD, I uh . . . well, make a name for myself. I have a very specific skill-set. I didn't care who I used it for or on. I got on SHIELD's radar in a very bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me, he made a different call."

"And what will you do if I vow to spare him?" Lokey tempted.

"Not let you out."

Lokey let out a hearty laugh. "Ah, no. But I like this. Your world in the balance and you bargain for one man?"

"Regimes fall every day." Natasha said. "I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian . . . or was."

"What is it you want?"

"It's really not that complicated." She said. "I've got a red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out."

"Can you?" Lokey inquired. "Can you wipe out that much red? Drakov's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital fire? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything?"Angrily, Lokey stood. "This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer . . . PATHETIC! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have you own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away!" Lokey slammed his fist on the cell, and made Natasha flinch.

"I won't touch Barton." Lokey goes on. "Not until I make him kill you! Slowly. Intimately. In every way he knows you fear! And when he'll wake, just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams, I'll split his skull! This is my bargain."

Natasha turned away from Lokey. "You're a monster." She whispers quietly.

"What?" Lokey said. "I'm so sorry, I can't hear you. You know, it's just the glass."

"You're a monster." She said louder.

"Oh ok." Lokey got back into character and laughed maliciously. "No, you brought the monster."

Natasha turned back to him and looked at him with a look that said 'ha ha I know what you're planning'. "So, Banner . . . that's your play."

"What?" Lokey said trying his best to keep his cool.

She spoke into her earpiece. "Lokey means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Send Thor as well." She turned to Lokey and smirked. "Thank you for your cooperation." She turned and left, leaving Lokey shocked.

* * *

Fury walked in Banner's lab surprised to see tony and Banner playing Pac Man instead of working.

"What are you doing Mr. Stark?" Fury roared.

"Uh . . . kind of been wondering the save think about you." Tony said avoiding the pink ghost.

"You're supposed to be locating the Accordion!"

"We are." Banner said also distracted by Tony's game. "The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit we'll have the location within half a mile."

"And you'll get your Accordion back, no muss, no fuss." He paused his game and hit another button that pulled up a "secret" file. "What is Phase 2?"

Suddenly, Steve dropped a Hydra Assault Rifle on the table causing everyone to turn and stare. "Phase 2 is a SHIELD uses the Accordion to make instruments." He turns to tony. "Sorry, the computer was moving too slow."

Nick Fury tried to explain. "Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Accordion. This does not mean that we're-"

"I'm sorry Nick." Tony moved the computer screen to fury which shoed plans of _The Instruments'_.

"I was wrong." Steve said. "The word hasn't changed a bit."

At that moment, Thor and Natasha entered the lab. Natasha kept her eyes on Banner while he gave her a death glare.

"Did you know about this?" Bruce shouted.

"You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?"

"I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed."

"Lokey is manipulating you." She said.

"And you've been doing what exactly?" Bruce said.

"You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you." Natasha said.

"Yes and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy. I'd like to know why SHIELD is using to Accordion to build instruments of mass destruction."

"Because of him." Fury pointed to Thor.

Thor gasped, baffled. "Me?"

"Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned."

Tony burst out in laughter. Everybody stared at him like he had seven heads and one of them was on fire.

"What?" Tony said. "You said hilariously!"

"My people want nothing but peace with your planet."

"But you're not the only people out there, are you? And you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled.

"Like you controlled the cube?" Steve said.

"You working with the Accordion is what drew Lokey and his allies to it. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war."

"A higher form?" Steve questioned.

"You forced out hand." Fury said. "We had to come up with something."

"Rock music deterrent," Tony said sarcastically. "Cause that always calms everything right down."

"Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?" Nick growled.

The team argued back and forth. But little did they realize that the headstock on Lokey's guitar glowed for a lone carrier flew outside the carrier.

* * *

***Gasp* HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN AOU?! I may or may not have cried**


	9. PLEASE READ

**PLEASE READ:**

**Listen, I know the correct way to spell Loki's name is Loki, but I spelled his name Lokey like it's in a key, like the key of C. I know you don't like it cause everybody has spilled their hearts out to me. And if you don't like my story (I'm not trying to sound rude) BUT PLEASE JUST SUCK IT UP! I'm sorry if you don't think it's funny, but I enjoy writing it. If you don't like it PLEASE DO NOT READ IT! You're just missing out on a fantastic story. If nobody reads my story _I will keep writing it._ I'm only 13, I don't have to best grammar. Sorry if this comes off as rude (which it probably does). **

**~Toothless~**

**P.s. Thank you ErinKenobi2893 for being the only nice person to leave reviews. When you give me criticism you do it in a nice way and it really makes my day. Thanks! :)**


	10. Hulked out

**Author's note:**

***peeks in* Hello? Anyone here? Sorry I haven't written in a while. Anyways, please enjoy!**

* * *

"661 Bravo, please relay your pass code. What is your hull, over?"

"Arms to ammunition, over." Baron replied. Lokey's crew inside were preparing for battle.

Back in the lab, everyone was still having a temper tantrum. Insults and burns were thrown this way that that way. Egos were put to the test.

Tony wrapped his arm around Steve's shoulder. "Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?"

"You know why! Get off me, you'll mess up my hair!" He smoothed his hair. Still perfect. Like it always should be. Steve then puffed his chest at Tony. "Big man in a suit of armor, take that off, what are you?"

Tony stared at him dead in the eye. This was it. The moment he had been waiting for his entire life. The joke he had come up on December 24th at two o'clock in the morning was about to be told. He never thought he would see the day. He thought he was delirious (So did Pepper and JARVIS). But, by the wishing of a star, his dream came true. Tony took a deep breath, and tried not to laugh. With a smile curved around his lips he proclaimed his joke.

"Stark . . . . . . NAKED!" He attempted to take off his shirt, but Steve stopped him. The dear captain saved them all from being scarred.

"Let me ask this again, big man in a suit of armor, take that off, what are you?"

Tony sighed. "Genius, billionaire, and the guy played by Robert Downey Jr."

"Forth wall, Tony, fourth wall." Nick fury said.

Tony had no appreciation for his jokes.

Steve started lecturing him. He didn't really pay attention. Just bits of the speech made it into his mind. The only full sentence he heard was somebody crawling over a wire. Steve stopped his lecturing and looked at him like he was waiting for an answer.

Tony panicked. What were they talking about? Should he just say pardon? The last thing he remembered was the wire crawling. And wires had to do with a high wire which had to do with the circus. Maybe, Tony thought, just maybe he's taking about clowns. A clown on a high wire. Well it made since to him.

"I think I would just cut the wire." Yeah, and get rid of those creepy clowns.

"Always a way out." Steve smiled. "You know, you may not be a treat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero."

"A hero? Like you? You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!" Tony 'z' snapped

A soft 'oooo' filled the room.

Outside, the ramp of the carrier Hawkeye was in, opened. It maneuvered next to one of the large turbine engines. Barton, despite his serious case of pinkeye, stood at the base, holding out his bow. He pulled out a grenade tipped arrow and pointed it right at the engine. The arrow flew and made contact. It punctured down, and a timer started ticking down.

Meanwhile back in the lab, they were still fighting.

"You people are so pretty . . . and tiny." Thor said.

Tony rubbed his head and slowly backed away from Cap.

"Yeah this is a tee." Banner said.

Fury spoke up. "Agent Fomanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his-"

"Where?" Banner interrupted. "You rented my room."

"The cell was just in case. . . ." Fury lied.

"In case you needed to kill me! But you can't! I know I tried." That when everybody got quiet. "I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out! So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good. Until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!" He looked at Black Widow. "You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You want to know how I stay calm?"

Black Widow and Fury had their hands on their guns, ready to shoot in a seconds notice.

"Doctor Banner . . ." Steve said. "Put the guitar down."

Shocked, Bruce looked to see he was holding Lokey's guitar. A nearby computer beeped. Everybody jumped.

"Got it." Tony said. Bruce put the guitar down and followed Tony.

"Sorry, kids. You didn't get to see my little party trick after all." Bruce said.

"Located the Accordion?" Thor questioned.

"I can get there the fastest." Tony bragged.

"Look, all of us!" Steve started.

"The Accordion belongs on Asgard, no mortal is match for it." Thor protested.

Tony started to leave, but Steve stopped him. "You're not going alone!"

"You gonna stop me?"

"Put on that drum kit, let's find out."

"I'm not afraid to hit an old man." Tony said.

"Put the drums on!" Steve challenged.

While Steve and Tony were testing egos, Bruce noticed something on the monitor about the Accordion.

"Oh, my gosh!"

Thor stared at him curiously. "What is this gosh you speak of Doctor Banner?" He asked. "How does one require a gosh?"

Bruce face-desked. Several times.

Agent Barton pulled a trigger on his bow. The arrow exploded the right engine off the Helicarrier. Everybody crashed to the ground.

"Now will you put the suit on?" Steve yelled at Tony.

"Yep." They run out of the lab.

"HILL?!" Fury yelled sitting up.

PANDEMONIUM ERUPTED! Emergency alarms set off, fire extinguishers activate near surrounding fires, and every agent was in a spinning scramble to get in their positions. Agent hill kept the bridge as calm as possible.

"Turn up that engine!" Hill yelled. "Number 3 engine is down! Can we get a run in?" She ran to the Galaga player. "Talk to me."

He pointed to the monitor. "Turbine's loose. Mostly intact, but it's impossible to get out there and make repairs while we're in the air."

"We lose one more engine we won't be. Somebody's got to get inside and patch that engine."

"STARK!" Fury yelled. "Do you copy?"

"No, but my printer does." He sassed. "I'm on it!"

"Coulson! Initiate official lock down in the detention section then get to the music store! Move out!"

Barton lead his men into the air ducts of the ship. They rappelled down into a corridor. "Get that engine down!" Hawkeye said. "Detention! Get him through the dark! Come with me." Two of his men followed him. They headed towards the bridge.

Tony and cap ran through a dim, debris filled hall. "Find engine three." Tony said. "I'll meet you there." He ran into a tech room. Inside, Tony's Iron Man drum suit stood waiting.

Natasha looked over to Bruce, who was breathing heavily, having landed hard. He gripped the grated floor to maintain control, but his eyes were glowing green.

"I'm okay. We're okay, right?"

Banner tried to suppress his rage, but his face is growing, changing slowly. Natasha made an attempt of pulling herself free while talking to Bruce.

"Doctor- Bruce, you gotta fight it! This is just what Lokey wants. We're gonna be okay, just listen to me." Two SHIELD agents run in. Natasha frantically waved her hands to get them to go. They got the message and bolted out. "We're going to be okay. Right? I swear on my life I will get you out of this, you will walk away and never-"

"You life?" Bruce said. Something was different about his voice. A bitter amusement? Another explosion rocked the carrier. He looked at her, and started transforming just a little faster.

"Bruce." Natasha pleaded.

Too late. He suddenly transformed into the Hulk and gave Natasha one last knowing look. She struggled free of the rubble. She stopped.

The Hulk, sensing her, turns his head and put on a face of a disturbed monster. She jolted up the stairs with the Hulk chasing after her. Natasha maneuvered like a black widow should. She rolled under a turbine, started crawling within the maze of pipes. The Hulk pulled them out from above the catwalk. Natasha fell through under the catwalks and quickly and stealthily escaped. The Hulk let out a roar of rage, Natasha had heard that roar before. Not like anything primal. This is the roar of a Rock Star. Bruce had turned into a Rock-and-Roll monster.


	11. Opera

**(A/N)**

***Peeks in***

**Hello? Is anybody still here?**

***Walks on a stage***

**Uh, hi...? So it's been a while. I kinda forgot I was writing this story. Oops-a-daisy. Oh well, I'm back now and I will try to update more regularly. :D**

Lokey looked up, smiling mischievously. His plan was working out perfectly.

Fury ran in and saw the chaos had increased even more than before. "Bring the Carrier inwards and head south." Nick said to the a random person, who we'll call Thelonious. "Take us to the water."

"Why water?" Thelonious asked. "Navigations recalibrated after the engine failure."

"Is the sun coming up?!"

He contemplated whether or not this was a trick question. "Yes sir...?"

"Then put it on the left! Get us over the water!" Fury ordered. "One more turbine goes down and we drop."

Meanwhile, Captain America walked into the engine room. Engine 2 was totally dead. Dead as door and nail. A large chunk of the port tore off.

"Stark, I'm here!" Captain America called.

"Good." Tony replied. "See what we got." He flew in his Iron Man drum suit and got close to the damaged engine. He observes within his view screen at the damaged engine and its layouts. "I gotta get this super conducting cooling system back online before I can access the rotors and work on dislodging the debris."

Steve had no idea what Tony just said, but he trusted that he was doing the right thing.

Iron Man began pulling on the stuck rotors, and looked over at Captain America. "I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position."

Steve still had no idea what Tony said, but he knew what and where the control panels were.

Iron Man flies into giant cooling conductors. Captain America Jumped over to the other side of the broken railing. He got himself to the control panel and opened it up.

"What's it look like in there?" Tony asked.

"It seems to run on some form of electricity." That was all he could think of, but hey, it sounded science-y to him.

"Great deduction, Watson." Iron Man is still blasting broken debris off the turbine engine. It was bad, but still fixable.

"The relays are intact." Captain America said. "What's our next move?"

"Even if I clear the rotors, this thing won't re-engage without a jump." He informed. "I'm going to have to get in there and push."

"Well if that thing gets up to speed you'll get shredded!"

"Then stay in the control unit and reverse the polarity long enough to disengage mag-"

"Speak English!"

"See the red lever? It'll slow the rotors down long enough for me to get out. Stand by it and wait for my word."

Captain America looked over at the other side where he was. He saw the red leaver and jumped toward it.

Down in the lower equipment room, Natasha continues to crawl under the catwalk. She stopped suddenly. Then . . . . . . BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The room vibrated, rhythmically. She pulled out her maracas and walked out and spun around. Then the sound of a breathtaking opera not filled the room. Natasha fired a shot into a liquid nitrogen pipe that hits the Hulk in the face. He smashed the life out of it. Well, he would have if it was alive, but obviously is wasn't. Natasha ran through the maze of corridors. The sound of the monster is not far behind.

Finally, she reached the long corridor. As she ran, behind her the Hulk tore up the hallway, in a mad scramble after her. Natasha looked to see, but Hulk slapped her into the wall. He raised his hand to smash her into the ground. But before he could he got knocked off his feet by Thor who tackled him into the next room.

They both roll across the floor. Every person ran out before you could scream 'mommy'. Thor looked up at the magnificent singing beast. Hulk stood, and waiting for Thor to make his move. But he got bored of standing there so he made his own move. He swung his fist toward Thor, but missed. Thor swung his hand and almost knocked Hulk off his feet. Hulk keeps swinging and missing, making himself even more mad. He brought his arm down, but Thor grabbed it and wrapped around it.

"We are not your enemies, Banner!" Thor shouted. "Try to think!"

Hulk lifted his arm and sent him flying as he punched him in the face.

Thor crashed into another stack of crates. As he raised his head, he felt something on his lips. Blood? No mortal will make the Son of Odin bleed his own blood! He wiped it off. The roar of the hulk is not far behind. Thor extends his hand out. He's getting closer and closer. He focuses and tried to make his cymbals come faster, his eyes shut tight. The Hulk ran right at him. At the last possible second (Would have made Gandalf proud) Mjil and Nir fly into his hands. Thor uppercut Hulk, who crashed into a fighter jet. He stands up, shaking his head. He walked it off and angrily ripped off the tail of the jet and hurls.

Thor slid and ducked under the tail. Jumping up he slapped his cymbals with all his strength, knocking Hulk head over heels. Thor accidentally dropped Nir in the posses. Before he could get there, Hulk grabbed Nir and tried to pick it up. He pulled at the strap. But the cymbal doesn't move. He strained with all his might. It stays still. Thor jumped again, kneeing Hulk in the face. He grabbed Nir and jumped on him and put him in a headlock.

Meanwile Director Fury and Agent Hill looked over their monitors, trying to keep things in order.

"We need a full evac on the lower hangar bay."

Hill nodded. She ran out the exit, but a Harmonica appears. "HARMONICA!" She screamed. It went off sending her down the steps. Fury played his kazoo at Barton's men, armed with guitars and basses. They shoot notes at each other, but Fury can't stop one of them. Thankfully agent Hill stopped him with her tuba.

Hulk crashed from under the floor, sending Thor the ground. Hulk grabbed him by the neck.

A music duel opened up. Musicians exchange sheet music brutally with the other soldier.

"Sir, the Hulk and Thor are in shuttle levels 2, 3, and 4!" Agent Jasper Sitwell yelled over the music.

"The Hulk will tear this place apart!" Hill shouted. Well, she did her best. She was blowing on a tuba when she said it so it kind of sounded like a bunch of gibberish. Luckily for her, Nick Fury is fluent in gibberish.

"Well get his attention Captain obvious!"

Maria Hill stopped playing her precious tuba and called on her earpiece. "Escort 606, proceed to 270 main shuttle! Don't get too close."

"Copy." The random guy on the other side of the communicator said. We will call him Bud. Bud and his crew move in on their position. Slowly they make their way in. They watch the fight between Hulk and Thor. "Should have brought the Doughnuts." Bud muttered.

"Even if you had remembered, Agent Coulson ate all of 'em." A random person said.

"Target acquired. Target engaged." Bud and the rest of his crew pull out their tambourines and shake them with all their might. Thor ducked for cover and Hulk spun around. He let out a glass-shattering note and leapt towards them.

"THE TARGET IS SINGING!" Bud shouted. "I REPEAT THE TARGET IS SINGING!"

Hulk landed on the jet's nose and it spun wildly. As Hulk tore it apart Bud pulled his ejection seat, but Hulk catches him and waves him around like a rag doll. Eventually, he got bored and threw him into the sky. Bud pulled his parachute and the jet exploded.

Hulk plummeted to earth, singing his swan song.

**(A/N)**

**Yeah, sorry. This chapter is kinda short. I've been _really _busy with school and all that fun stuff. Feedback would be very much appreciated!  
*Moonwalks away***


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